sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I pour the whiskey from now on
All the doctor said was why
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
