You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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