oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
