She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
