I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
