I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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