Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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