Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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