Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
