I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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