I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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