i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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