but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
