Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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