Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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