for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
