My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
