I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
