i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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