You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Randomize
