Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When did angry sex become our thing?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
