So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
