im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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