Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
