i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
