Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
