And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
