The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
