Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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