at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
