used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
