did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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