I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
