doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
