I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
