Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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