the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
