just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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