This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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