i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
