Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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