it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize