Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You need Xanax blowdarts
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
