I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
