What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
