K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
