I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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