You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
40s are totally the cure
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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