I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm like, not good at living.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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