just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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