Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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