Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
