He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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