in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Holy shit dude........stairs
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
