never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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