her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
