Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
